Small Steps: Sacrifices

I am looking forward to Lent this year.  Truly.  What a blessing it is that the Church gives us the cycle of the Liturgical Year, with the beginning of each season like a port of call, where we can clamber aboard our spiritual vessel once more!

As a child growing up, I was in a military family.  As I got older, I started looking at those inevitable moving days as an opportunity to start fresh.  It was a gift -- an uprooting that made growth possible.  Now that I have settled down quite firmly and no longer have the chance to make a clean break and start fresh in a new place, my heart often misses those days.  I have caught myself looking for watershed moments in other places: the changing of the quarters or semesters in our homeschool, and most especially in the turn of the seasons of the Liturgical Year.  Lent, more than any other season, is the chance to uproot the old and stale habits and let new ones bud out and flower.  Fasting becomes a symbol of letting go of all those things that tie us down in the spiritual life.  For me, so often either pregnant or nursing during this season, actual fasting hasn't been much of an option, so I have to look to other sacrifices to fulfill this purpose.

This Lent, I'm once more nourishing another little life, so I must forgo the fast.  But I hope that as I give up the sweet and sugary things from which I too often seek comfort, I will reach instead for true consolation - true sweetness - that fills the soul but not the stomach!  As I give up a little extra sleep to meet the Lord in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, I pray that I will find true rest in His peace and grace.

There are so many things that fell out of our routine with the arrival of our youngest child!  The proverbial wheels came right off the wagon.  As we adjust to the "new normal", I'm taking the start of this Lent as the moment to reassemble the wagon.  Perhaps we don't need wheels any longer.  I'm thinking hover technology with a jet engine might be more appropriate at this point.  But I want to redouble our efforts, especially in our homeschool, to bring back on board some of the things that got jettisoned in order for me to keep my sanity.

Little by little, I must remind myself.  Small steps, but steps upward and onward nonetheless!

Blessings,
Shannon

Five Minute Friday: When I look in the mirror...

I love chances to unlock some creativity, especially these days as I work on editing a manuscript....  I got the idea from Elizabeth Foss's blog, which I totally adore! :)  So, here goes!








When I look in the mirror...

Quick glances.  I see a body changed by vocation, most recently by the gift of a precious baby girl, so welcome in our house of little gentlemen!

I don't smile as often as I should.  I am constantly reminding myself that I am surrounded by joy and laughter, and that I should slow down and drink it in!  I used to practice different smiles as a girl -- trying to work out how to capture an image in words.  That same girl who practiced a confidence she never felt, learning to conceal so many things.

I see a tumble of red hair.  It is so long now that when I cut it next week I will be able to donate it to Locks of Love.  I am so excited to have the chance to give something of myself as we begin the Lenten season!  I think of St. Paul, of discarding the old and putting on Christ Jesus.  As those scissors work through my mane of hair, I pray it will be as a shedding of my old bad habits and a chance to walk, lighter and more free, in the footsteps of my Lord and my God!

I see a woman constantly surprised by love, surprised by joy.  Fearful, yet hopeful.  Anxious and striving to trust.  Trying to give with open hands and heart so that they may be filled to overflowing.

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Okay, that's five! :)  Take the challenge...and have fun!!!!

Blessings,
Shannon

Fall Days

It's been raining here since yesterday, and the weather has finally turned chilly!  I have to admit that it's a welcome change after the long Texas summer - but my boys are sad to see swimming weather fade.

Maybe it's the changing of the seasons, but I've been inspired to change many things around our home, hopefully for the better!  I have a newly awakened sense of curiosity and am avidly reading and contemplating many things, something I haven't felt the urge to do in years.  It's a nice feeling!  I have to smile as I consider, however, that what I am researching and reading and contemplating has nothing to do with the detached and academic pursuits of my earlier years and everything to do with family, education, religion, and wellness.  The seasons of my own life are changing, it seems!

When I realized that I wanted to learn more about homeschooling and the philosophy of education, frugal living and family finances, and herbalism and natural wellness, I realized that the papers flying from my printer would quickly overwhelm the little corner of our home known as Mommy's "office".  With the end of the calendar year in view, I set about creating a binder organization system or household journal.  It allows me to keep track of all our different "irons in the fire" -- all in one place.  I love it!!!  The best part about it is that it is totally customizable and infinitely expandable, exactly what I wanted.

Here's to organization and the start of a new season!

Reflections: The Beginning of a New Year

September is such a wonderful month!  I start pining for fall and the start of a new school year in, oh, probably July.  And I so enjoy shopping for pens and pencils and notebooks that it is almost ridiculous!  Some mothers drink tea or get a massage when they are stressed.  I shop for pens.  I suppose that's the writer in me coming through.

Anyway, we almost threw in the towel on homeschooling last year.  I was convinced that the kids weren't learning anything and that it would be better for them all to be in school.  So we started looking into private schools, but the promise of astronomical, budget-busting tuition was enough to make me return to take a hard look at why I was so unhappy with homeschooling.

After some scrutiny and self-examination, I realized that I wanted a program that was more enjoyable to teach, that was flexible and not overwhelming for the boys, and that had a minimal workbook component.  After a discussion with some friends of ours, they recommended that I look into The Latin-Centered Curriculum by Andrew Campbell.  I borrowed their copy, read it cover to cover, and fell immediately in love.  Here at last was a curriculum designed with me in mind!  The promise of "much, not many" appealed to me, as did the classical philosophy behind the design.  And so, after explaining its many advantages to my husband, I charged ahead.

Not that I was without qualms.  Being without a prepackaged curriculum for the first time made me nervous.  Would I be able to plan my own lessons?  Could I set my own pace?  And the fearful delight of choosing a math program set my motherly heart a-flutter.  I gathered myself together and chose and planned...carefully.

We are now into our second week of the new school year, and I am glowing from the harvest I am beginning to reap!  The boys are actually excited about school for the first time in years!  It is delirium scarcely to be imagined.  More than just their enthusiasm, they are actually learning and retaining what they are learning!  My husband is beside himself with relief and joy.  And I am content. 

There is one thing that I have realized in the last several months, as I have weaned myself from prepared curricula.  Homeschooling requires mother's full attention.  At least, it requires mine.  When I tried to teach my children while my attention was fragmented between this and that side pursuit, I was frustrated and impatient ~ which meant that my children were frustrated and impatient.  Sacrificing six hours of my day (at least) to teach my sweet boys is indeed a sacrifice, but I find such joy in the time I spend with them, watching them learn and grow!  And I find that I have quiet time to myself in the afternoons after all, when I can recharge my own batteries.  It is wonderful in strange and unexpected ways.  An everyday miracle.

God willing, it will be a fabulous year!

Contraception and American Birth Culture

I recently had the privilege to read an amazing article by Penny Simkin called "The Experience of Maternity in a Woman's Life" (Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic, and Neonatal Nursing, March/April 1996: 247-252). In this article, Simkin looks at the history of women's roles in the United States in order to discover the reasons for our 20th (and now 21st) century American birth culture of highly managed, medical childbirth.

The entire article is fascinating, but her observation that the introduction of birth control and the subsequent divorcing of sex from babies in the 1920s was partly the cause of the change in our birth culture is particularly so. After the introduction of contraception, women felt free to flaunt their sexuality becuase they were "protected" from the sex = babies equation, but, ironically, even as they gained this perceived control over their sexuality, they began handing over their control of the birth process:

Several other trends combined to lead women to relinquish the control they had in childbearing and to foster the medical perception of the human body as a complex machine that is devoid of feeling. The practice of birth control, leading to a steady decline in the birth rate, meant a reduction in women's personal experience, knowledge, and self-confidence in giving birth. Grand multiparas had been important teachers.... But now there were fewer grand multiparas. (249)

The sexual liberation provided by birth control not only affected birth, but also breastfeeding -- artificial formula meant "freedom from child care" (249). Women wanted freedom -- freedom to be out in public when pregnant, freedom from nursing their babies, and freedom from pain in childbirth. When twilight sleep was introduced (a combination of scopolamine and meperdine) and touted as the way to achieve best outcomes for mother and baby, women demanded to be put under to be delivered of their babies.

In the 1960s, the introduction of the Pill and the desire of many women to return to the workforce heightened the problem. Enter the Women's Liberation movement and the birth of feminism. Enter also the degradation of the position of mother and housewife. As Simkin puts it, "No longer could women find fulfillment, respect, and pride in housework and motherhood. Such work was no longer valued in society" (248). To stay at home and raise one's own children was perceived as low class and ignorant. What was the result of this matrix of attitudes about children and work? Simkin argues that

[t]he belief that anyone can raise a healthy, happy, competent child lowered the value of child rearing and produced a careless attitude toward day care. People who could not do anything else could raise children, so only minimal standards of safety and cleanliness were set, and day care centers...proliferated to meet the needs of mothers who entered the work force. (248)

Today, the combination of overworked parents who have little time for or interest in preparing for childbirth, the uptick in medical malpractice litigation, and the perception that it doesn't really matter how you birth your baby (250) has led to a birth culture where more than 1/3 of women will give birth by cesarean section and almost 3/4 of women will opt for epidural anesthesia (see the Listening to Mothers Survey II at www.childbirthconnection.com). Most companies allow new mothers six weeks to give their full attention to their babies, and then mothers find childcare arrangements and go back to the office. We need only look around or listen to the news to see that quantity, not quality, still dominates child care in this country.

I find Simkin's article so illuminating because it demonstrates that the sexual relationship between man and woman -- and one that is open to the creation of a child -- is absolutely integral to society as a whole. The violation of that order through artificial contraception has had devastating ramifications across the board.

We need to do some hard thinking as a culture regarding our attitude toward children. If they are perceived as a burden, an inconvenience, or something that needs to be scheduled around career or something else, can we really expect women to desire normal, natural childbirth, with all its unpredictability and emotional and psychological intensity? And when we as a culture have rejected babies and motherhood, why should we expect it to welcome and celebrate birth?

Blessings,
Shannon

Making bread

We're completely out of bread...which means that I need to get motivated to make some and finally give my new NutriMill grain mill a whirl.  I'm hoping that I will finally win over my children to the taste of fresh whole wheat bread...it's got such a lovely rich, deep flavor, but when you're used to the fluff they sell at the grocery store, it can be an adjustment for the palate!

One of my favorite homeschool "mentors" -- and I put this in quotes because I've never met her in person, only read her books -- is Rita Munn.  She once wrote a beautiful reflection on the making of bread, and I think of it every time I bake.  Our Lord fed thousands through the multiplication of the loaves and fishes, and He feeds all of us with the Holy Eucharist.  In our own humble way, we mothers participate in this life-giving nourishment of souls when we bake our lowly loaves and feed our families.  What an amazing blessing!  It's a true privilege that God has given us, this responsibility for feeding those we love!

We visited San Antonio this past weekend, just my husband and I, in celebration of our 10th wedding anniversary.  We visited many of the old Spanish missions, and as we walked around the wall of Mission San Jose, we came upon a park guide giving a demonstration of grinding corn with a stone grinder.  As I watched the kids take turns rolling the stone pin over the kernels, crushing them into powder, I reflected again, as I sometimes do, on the life of the pioneer woman.  Reading the Little House on the Prairie books, one gets the sense that a mother's life then was simple, well-ordered, and occupied her from sunup to sundown.  Making the family's clothing, cleaning, cooking and baking, churning the butter, teaching the children...so many of the things we take for granted, she did herself.  And yet, for all our modern conveniences, we are a more hectic and frantic culture, not less.  And to my modern, frantic mind, there is something refreshing in the idea of letting go of this crazed world just a bit, focusing just on what needs to be done without distractions.

What a blessing, then, that we can bake our bread, and breathe a little!

Out with the Old, In with the New

As we bring this school year to a close, I'm full of mixed emotions.  This last year has been, by and large, a success, full of its inevitable downs and ups.  As only my second full year of homeschooling, I feel I am finally getting my "sea legs" -- I have found that the most valuable skill a homeschooling mother possesses is flexibility, and her most necessary virtue patience.  In light of those two things, a myriad of other considerations follow:

1. In order to be flexible, the curriculum must give a little.  I have discovered this year that the curriculum I am currently using is no longer what suits our family best, so I am excited to make some adjustments for next year!
2. Flexibility must be balanced with a sense of order.  I can't be so flexible that nothing ever gets done, nor so "orderly" that we become a cyborg family.  I think that not cramming our schedule will help us to move things around if need be.  Like those Cracker Jack games where you have to reorder the numbers in the square, you can't budge if you don't have any empty space!
3. In order for Mommy to be patient, Mommy requires time for enough sleep, daily prayer (and Mass if possible), daily exercise, and a little bit of quiet time in the afternoon.  Looking forward, these will become permanent entries in the schedule.  Mommy can't give what she doesn't have, after all!
4. Both patience and flexibility require that everyone carries their share of the household duties.  If I am overwhelmed with minutiae, it's so easy for the most important things to get lost in the shuffle!

I guess all of this goes back to my earlier post about order in the home.  Every family is so unique!  One of the real blessings of homeschooling is the ability to design a custom lifestyle that fits the gifts, charisms, and individual needs of everyone in the home, allowing each to grow and thrive in his or her own way.

So, even though I am looking forward to summer vacation, I am also already eagerly anticipating the joy and challenges of the next school year!